I want to protect my children, but if that day comes...

I'm not a mother yet, but as I sit here, reading the words written by women (and men) sexually abused, I can't help but imagine a conversation with my future children if ever a tragedy as that should befall them.

My loves,

Wisdom is knowing when a situation is unsafe, but true freedom is something to enjoy, and while we may not always know what dangers lurk behind every corner, everyone has the right to believe they can go places and be with people and not fear suffering. 

It is not your fault. You only have to say no once for it to matter, not 10 or 15 times, and if you aren't able to say no, for whatever reason, then rest assured that no is still the answer to the question they're hoping you won't respond to. 

It is not love. They say most rape and abuse victims suffer at the hands of those known to them, which truly makes their sin even more abominable. "I love you" is not permission, "You owe me" is worth nothing, and "You asked for it" is the flimsiest of excuses for something they know is wrong.

It is not right. If anyone tries to tell you it is your fault, or that it's not what you thought it was, or that you're wrong, then they too are passive participants in this crime against you. If the police will not believe you, I will. If your friends call you names, I will be here, ready to stand against them on your behalf. If the one you love abandons you, I won't, I will run to you and hold you in my arms and do my best to take your pain away. 

No matter what is done, no matter who does it, if you do not want it, it is rape. If you are made to feel unsafe, unloved, and ugly, then all fault is in the ones who dared trespass on a gift that can only be given, never taken. 

The full extent of the law would never seem enough for the ones who love you, who would trek the entirety of the earth to find the one who hurt you and bring them to justice. For every day you suffer, so should they suffer in the knowledge of your torment for a lifetime. 

You are beautiful. You are strong. You are not alone. You are not a slut. 

You can be raped as a woman, and also as a man, so never doubt yourself. 

I will love you always.